[I Desire, mickey morgan,2015]
A bowl of thumb
tacks spilled on my desk
scattering and rolling and shaking.
I had to pick them up.
I reached to the far right corner of my desk
settling around an upright tack
with thumb and index finger of my right hand
already thinking ahead to what my left hand could do.
As my right hand moved to the bowl
to deposit the thumbtack from the far right corner
my left hand reached for an overturned tack
rolling to an upright position.
My fingers flipped the tack to the midddle of my palm.
Moving over the mouth of the bowl
my left left hand hollowed and released
My finger flipped
the tack to gravity. PLINK!
I was more confident now.
I directed my hands two at a time.
I saw the two actions going on
at the same time. I gave them a rhythm,
like a heart beat, which is involuntary.
A man with a soft cotton shirt comes in the room
My eyes follow him in an unbroken gaze.
He walks in an ellipse in front of my desk.
My eyes move in ellipses
as my hands pick up thumbtacks
many more still to go.
The man begins to talk. I comprehend,
I nod. Like a heartbeat, which is involuntary.
He keeps walking. My eyes rove in ellipses.
I have to get up all the thumbtacks.
A small boy pulls at my shirt, pushing
between my rhythmic hands. The man kept talking
and walking. I keep nodding
and comprehending and following him with my eyes
as my mechanical hands pick up the thumbtacks.
The small boy reaches inside my shirt
and takes my left nipple in his right hand.
He twirled it. This was his nipple from birth.
His nipple twirled as I watched the man, eye-
to-eye for greater communication. I knew I
must pick up all the thumbtacks as I
nodded and comprehended,
like a heartbeat, which is involuntary,
before I could stop
the plant on my desk from moaning.
It was crying and withering
and it was my fault my fault.